Off to the beach we go... Right?

I don't know if I told you guys this, but my MIL now lives about 5 hours from where we live. Which, if you live in Costa Rica, means her house is on the beach. So, yay for me, huh? NOT!

The plan was this: on Sept 26th, Michael and I would go to his mom's house (because I haven't been to the beach in over 3 years, so I'm at a point where I don't care if I have to see the ocean from my MIL's window) with a friend whose birthday is on Sept 25th, a friend of Michael's and his girlfriend. And we would leave Camila with my mom because I don't really know if that guy is a good driver or not, so I wasn't going to take her with us. Plus, this guy's car is tiny and there is no room for her carseat. That, and I just wanted to have a relaxing weekend with my husband wehere we could have some drinks and some fun as the newlywed couple we never were. And yes, that makes me feel like a lousy mom. Leaving my child with my mom so I can go to the beach and have fun with my husband? Damn, that does sound bad.

So I tell my mom and she says it's okay, she'll take care of Camila. And then two days later she tells me she has something else to do that weekend, so the baby can't stay with her. And, of course, I get bummed, but at the same time I think "Okay, maybe this isn't so bad. At least I won't feel like the horrible mom who dumps her kid on the grandma and goes off to the beach". And then, when I was finally coming to terms with staying home while Michael went to the beach, my dear husband pulled what I like to call "a Michael", meaning  he came up with what he thought was a brilliant idea: taking Camila with us for the weekend. Now, I was completely and adamantly opposed to that idea. Why? It's a 6 hour bus and ferry ride, because I'm sure as hell not taking my daughter in a car driven by someone who, for all I know, could drive like Goofy on "Motor Mania", and that has no space for a car seat. And, since we don't have a car anymore, we would have no choice but to get there by bus... and ferry.

So when I told Michael I didn't want to take her, we got into a big fight, of course. Because "I don't want his mom to see Camila", and "other people do this kind of thing all the time", and "I'm selfish and don't trust him to take care of the kid" and wahwahwah. And, you know, I've got nothing against him, or even against his mom seeing the baby. She is her grandma after all, despite the fact that I don't like her. But am I willing to submit my daughter to a bus ride that long? If I know her well (which I hope I do) she's not going to be happy about this. Or the heat. Or the bugs.

And then, after the fight with Michael and telling him that no, we are not going, and if he wants to he can go, but Camila and I are staying home, I started to think. Is it so crazy that he wants to take us? Would it be so horrible if we went there by bus with Camila? I mean, yeah, maybe it won't be a breeze, but I think we can handle it. Or should I wait until she's older to go on a trip like this? Am I being overprotective? (Yeah. I already know the answer to that one).

So I guess all I have left to say is Help, Internet Peoples! Give me your almost-always-sound advice! Please?

Comments

[Ceci]

How old is Camila? (pretty name, btw!) It sounds like a nightmare of a trip to me too. :( I wouldn't go.

But it IS sweet of your husband to want you both with him. It's just that husbands are so rarely the ones that have to do the 'work' of that kind of trip so it's easy for them to be stubborn about it. My husband is the same way: invites me places, begs me to come when I'm thinking, "Oh god, that will be hard..." and convinces me by saying he'll help with our 3 yr old son... and yeah, his idea of help usually turns out to be getting engrossed in conversations with his friends so that he's not paying attention at all.

So, if it doesn't sound fun to ME now, I just say no. It doesn't sound like your husband is hearing your reasons for not wanting to go though. Maybe another talk when he's calmed down?

Good luck! MIL fights are always so hard...

[Worsted Knitt]

Personally, I wouldn't go. It's sweet of him now, but not anymore 5 hrs into the trip. And without a car seat - no way. Bus - maybe... but this coming from someone without a kid, so. Hope you figure it out. Good luck!