C'est la vie

Oh, for crying out loud!

I was over at ClubMom.com reading Parenting Pop Culture by blogger Meredith O'Brien, when I find a post that just made me realize, once again, just how morbid some people can be.

Apparently, BabyTalk magazine's August issue had the picture of a breastfeeding baby in its cover. Which caused many prudes to jump up and censor the fact that a HUMONGOUS BREAST WAS ON THE COVER OF A PARENTING MAGAZINE OH MY GOD THE APOCALYPSE.

How is it possible that some people find the picture of a baby feeding from mommy's breast dirty? Well, you need to have a filthy mind. That way you'll be able to look at everything and turn it into something offensive. I mean, what kind of person would think it's possible for anyone to get aroused by the sight of a baby eating? If you think your kid might, you might want to examine the kind of education you're giving them.

Yech.

Guess what? I suck.

Well, I've officially gotten my first not-so-happy comment. From the first internet person to ever tell me I'm funny. Does that say complete suckitude or what?

You know, I've never really thought much of my writing skills; however, I'm really starting to panic because apparently stuff I write is being misinterpreted, which is one thing I've never had a problem with. I've always been able to speak my mind and be understood at once.

Plus, it really hurts when people inside the computer who were beginning to sort of like you don't anymore. But that's just one of my issues, and maybe material for another post.

***

On some more exciting --and much needed-- news, WE HAVE A CRIB, PEOPLE! And I just love it so much I have to post a pretty picture as soon as I can. The best part was, I got it from an acuaintance who's a co-sleeper so it's pretty much new, and it was only $80!!!! (Yup. I get pretty excited when i find a good bargain. REALLY EXCITED. Like someone-please-give-this-lady-a-cold-shower excited.)

And now, back to work. Blegh.

Apparently, some people inside the computer think I'm funny

But that's just because they don't know me. And that'll stay that way, because I live in a whole different country than most people who have ever read this blog. So, people will continue to think I'm funny, and I won't have to do anything about the Immense Dorkitude.

And now, question. Because I seriously need help. I'm just in sort of an awkward situation.

Here's the thing: since before I got pregnant, Michael had always said that he didn't want to know the sex of the baby. And then, as we approached 18 weeks, he changed his mind. Don't get me wrong, I was both thrilled and relieved that I wasn't going to need to hide the baby's presents and be constantly watching out for any comments that might give away the baby's sex and going insane and whatnot. So in summary, I was glad he changed his mind.

Not so much this time.

Because another thing Michael said since before I got pregnant was that he did not want to be there to see the birth, which I eventually accepted. Because let's face it, I'm a ginormous crybaby and the last thing I need is another ginormous crybaby barfing and fainting at the sight of blood and an expanding vagina with a baby coming out of it. I mean, I need someone there who can help me breathe and stay calm and not fling myself out the window. So we decided that my mom was going to be there during the birth with me. Why? A, she's given birth 3 times, so I'm guessing she's got this whole thing figured out by now; and 2, she's my mommy, and I really like her.

So as soon as we found out I was pregnant, my mom got all excited not only because this was going to be her first grandchild, but because she was going to be there to welcome her into the world. Exciting! And also, gross! But who cares! She's the proud grandmommy, so who gives a crap if sh'es gonna see my punani.

Except yesterday Michael did that thing he does that can be either cute or really annoying. He changed his mind, and now it turns out he wants to be there when Camila is born. With his eyes closed the whole time, of course, the big weenie.

So now I have no Idea what to do. As far as I know, hospitals here in Costa Rica only allow one person to be with the mother during delivery, so now I have to see who I let down: my mom or my husband. I'd feel much better if I could just punch Michael in the face, but I think he might get a little upset. And God knows that's like the last thing I need right now.

So how would you do it? Who would you let down? Help!

Ooh, ooh! I have something to tell you!

Guess what? I have some news!

IT'S A GIRL!!!!!!

Hee. I'm so happy! I mean, I'd be happy if it was a boy too, but I just always pictured myself having a baby girl first.

So, Camila it is. I'm 19 weeks pregnant, but she's got the size of a 20 week old baby. Plus, I've lost 6 pounds in the 4 months I've been pregnant. So, everything's great. Yay.

Spread the knowledge

So, I have found a new internet addiction: Minti. It's actually been going on for a while now, so I have no idea why I waited so long to blog about it. I mean, it's incredible!

The whole purpose of Minti.com and its founders is to create an online adviceopedia for parents, made by parents. The only requisite to join is wanting to help other parents with your experience so that others will help you when you need it. You don't have to be a doctor, a teacher or anything like that; just a parent who wants to learn and maybe teach others what you know along the way. Even people who don't have kids might find it interesting.

Doesn't that sound amazing? They some great features and great people who are always willing to help without making you feel stupid or incompetent. Plus, they have a group for mom bloggers and another for parent bloggers (moms and dads), so yay!

What do you say? Hop on over and check it out!

Some things only happen to me

I'm pretty sure my supervisors here at work think I'm some kind of nut who makes up this stupid things no one even believes to get out of working. Yeah, they probably do.

But I'm telling you, some things only happen to me. And here's proof:

Yesterday I was working the 7 am-2 pm shift. You know, my back is aching like a motherfucker, but what can I do, other than suck it up and take it like a man? So I'm working, and at 11 am I get a phone call from my sister. I answer the phone, and hear a little kitten in the background. Naturally, my cat's babies come to mind (she had 3 a month ago). So I ask my sister what in the hell she's doing with one of the babies, and she answers her boyfriend's godfather (who lives up the street from my house) found her wandering around. Outside. Obviously, that's not possible, because one-month-old kittens don't just get out of the house magically. Besides, Michael and I locked the house before we left for work. So, of course, my paranoid, hormonal mind thinks "oh fuck someone broke into my house and left the door wide open and they stole everything and the babies got out of the house and I'm going to find them all splattered on the street where they were ran over by a car someone please kill me".

And (I know you were expecting this) I immediately burst into tears in front of my supervisor because I'm all the way over here and can't do anything about the fact that they just robbed my house and my cats are dead and wah; so my supervisor told me I could go home and see what was going on (he's just too effin' nice for words).

And then I got home, and you'll never guess what it was.

Go on, I dare you. Guess.

It was another cat, who looked exactly like mine. Same stripes. Same eyes. Maybe a week younger, but she definitely looked like she was Doobie's (yeah. That's my cat's name. I know what you're thinking, and it's got nothing to do with that. I'll tell the story some other time) daughter, but she wasn't. Meaning that no one robbed my house and the cats were just fine. All that mayhem for nothing.

Of course Doobie, being the incredible mom she is, took the baby into her little house, cleaned her and fed her. And then, there were five. Cats. In my house. Plus a dog. Yikes.

So you see? I'm not nuts. Okay, maybe I am, but I definitely don't have such a fertile imagination. And yet, somehow, I get the feeling people at work think I do.

I am sooo fired.

The Mom Bloggers Carnival is here!!

Yes. The first edition of the Mom Bloggers Carnival is finally here!!! And guess what? One of my posts is there! The excitement! The selfconsciousness! The exclamation points in this post! It's just too much!

Jennifer received some incredible submissions about motherhood. Absolutely amazing. So if you know what's good for you, hop on over and get some of that mommybloggin' goodness!